Funniest Bedtime Quotes From Children

Inventive kids at bedtime

Our bedtime routine became quite ridiculous lately, because Bobcat started to object to going to bed. He’d much rather be playing with his dog or toys, reading just one more book, go for yet another trip to the toilet, have some more water, have some more milk (he hasn’t had milk at bedtime since he turned two), call us just to say good night again, you get the picture. At nearly four years of age, he realised that he doesn’t want to go to sleep in the evenings, because it’s boring. As much as these excuses can be funny, they can get a very tiring too, especially when he keeps repeating something over and over again, for 10-15 minutes straight.

He started to come up with brilliantly funny excuses too, to delay bedtime, like as above: “but I’m bored”. How do you respond to that? Well, of course, close your eyes and think about Thomas the tank engine or something. He came up with something new and truly hilarious every other night, so I started to jot them down.

“….but I’m Thomas, I need to sleep in a shed!”

“….but I can’t sleep, because I’m a bat!”

“….mummy, I’ve hurt my tooth, can you kiss it better?”

“….but my head is talking to me!”

“….but it’s already tomorrow, mummy!”

Bedtime excuse Nr. 47

And so on. So I thought, it would be a fun to ask some of my blogging buddies – many with small children – if they have any hilarious stories to add and they didn’t disappoint.

Here are some of the best excuses:

“I’m too tired to go to bed.”

That I hear quite often. Says Pete But I’m with the kid on this one: I can hear ya, buddy. Chances are, your parents as well.

“The dog is breathing to noisily.”

Says Sara. Who probably has a light sleeper on her hands.

“But my teddy isn’t ready for bed yet!”

Beth’s little one has a great excuse blaming her cuddly toy.

Bedtime excuse Nr. 67

“My 21 months old has learnt that if she says ‘bum’ and nods when asked if she had done a poo she will get a free trip into the front room.”

That’s Sarah’s little person. They are never too young to work out what motivates parents.

“My eyes are too open!”

Lianne’s telling me. She’s quite clever for her four years, the ball is in your court, mummy.

“My eyebrow hurts.”

Says Collette, and I know, the pain is real.

My daughter was standing in her cotbed so I told her to lie down and sleep. She closes her eyes, starts marching and says: “Mummy, but I’m sleep walking”

From Irina – that’s very clever! Such an obvious answer when pretending to be asleep.

Minime is 4 and Granny stays with him until he falls asleep and I will not and I was told last week by a very serious little man… “you are damaging me mummy”

Sarah’s little one. This has to be my favourite.

Bedtime excuse Nr. 72

“I’m too little mummy. I can’t do it.”

Lisa’s almost 3’s answer to any others days. Too adorable.

My son when he was younger told me he couldn’t sleep because everything was black when his eyes are closed!

Says Jen and I think I also had a similar excuse too.

“My mouth just won’t stop talking!”

From Laura. What a surprise!

Tonight my husband was doing bedtimes. Our 3 year old son, Cohen wanted to sleep with me. We told him that he had to go in his own bed. He started crying and said “I can’t sleep in my own bed, Mummy needs me!”

Claire tells me. This is just as innocent and adorable as funny. Good try.

Bedtime Excuse Nr. 23

“But Moon won’t have anyone to talk too.”

Another excellent try, shared by Sinead

My little boy started complaining his papercut was hurting, one he’d had 4 months ago!

By Jennie. All these serious pains. Eyebrows, hair, paper cut from four months ago.

“But why?”

And finally, the ultimate response to nearly everything from a small child by Veronica. Try to answer that, and you’ll be hit by another one and it will go on till the end of the times.

Do you have any funny bedtime quotes to share with us?

Bedtime excuse Nr. 43

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